Life lately: some changes and realizations

Hi everyone! It’s been quite a while since I posted a life update. A lot has happened in the weeks since my last post so I thought I’d share it with you guys!

  • I’m coming back to my old job this April

A lot of you know that I decided to be unemployed due to my illness; however, I feel like I function a lot better now than I did before, and as such, I’m coming back to my old work next month. I gave myself the allowance of 30 days to check if I really want to go back to said company. Might as well make sure that I’m truly ready for it rather than rushing in and backing out immediately the moment things start getting serious.

  • I’ve decided to travel to India

By June or July, I would go travel India with my father! It’s exciting because I have never been overseas. Now’s the perfect time for me to expand my horizons and add more to my bucket list.

  • I’ve taken on some online courses

To further expand my knowledge and add more to my skills, I’ve taken up a few courses online, specifically academic writing, Excel training, and the basics of accounting. I’ve also subscribed to typing classes to further improve my typing, because I feel like I’m still slow and I make a lot of mistakes. This might seem a bit overwhelming but because I am not employed, I have the time and patience to learn about these things.

  • I’ve planned dinner dates with some friends

What most of you do not know is that I am…a hermit. I prefer staying at home than going outside to party. However, it is important to still have social interactions so I contacted some friends and I decided to meet up with them! This will be by the end of March but I am already excited for our date! The last time I saw them was way back in 2012, so I’m pumped about catching up.

  • I’ve decided to postpone meetings with my current therapist

My current therapist and I get along but there’s something about her that makes me uncomfortable. When I share something to seek solace, I feel like I am not being heard; I have to perform for her so that our meetings can go well. I just feel like this is not what I want in therapy so I’ve decided not to continue my sessions with her. I’ll wait for my previous psychiatrist’s go signal to meet with her (she’s still setting up her private clinic) and I’ll just seek her services instead.

  • The negative voices in my head will not go away easily…and that’s ok

One session I had with my therapist had us identifying the negative thoughts in my head to see how it connects to my language and behavior, and it’s apparent from how I communicate that the negative voices in my head are prominent. Ever since I realized that, I’ve become more miserable, thinking that I have to change this immediately.

But I realized that I don’t have to change my way of thinking now. It’s fine if I just identified it at first; the changes can come later, with the changes in my surroundings. I’m still living at home with my parents and I rarely go out (mostly because I have no money and I can buy whatever I want and have it delivered at home), so it makes sense that I haven’t changed my thoughts, because the things around me haven’t changed as well. I shouldn’t beat myself up over this.

Whew! So many changes in the span of two months. To be honest, writing this down makes me feel, little by little, that I am growing as a person and am realizing things I haven’t before; it is empowering.

What about you guys? Any life updates?

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