The last couple of days

…have been boring, to be quite honest. I’ve done nothing but rest and enjoy life. Spent the rest of the days in bed, reading fan fiction, watching YouTube videos, and perusing anything I find remotely interesting. I haven’t been doing my chores as well, which is considered a no-no in my book, but maybe the trip to the hospital made me realize I should enjoy my free time more instead of worrying about the next task ahead of me. After all, we live life once, so why not do the things that make us feel safe and happy, right?

I’ve been unlearning this trait of mine where I punish myself every time I don’t do something I’m supposed to do. If I don’t accomplish my chores today, for example, I’d be beating myself over it by night time and that’s definitely not healthy. I’ve been doing it for a long time now, more than I can remember, and it just became habit to think of myself as a failure every time I don’t accomplish something. So I’m trying to separate my worth from my responsibilities, which is a difficult thing, really. Not sure how I’ll go about with it, but I have faith it’ll come to me. In the meantime, I’m just enjoying life.

So I watched A Quiet Place! Wonderful film, but it was less horror and more drama? Not gonna give spoilers so I’m stopping here, but you should definitely watch it! Haven’t bought the ESL tech I’ve been meaning to buy, mostly because it’s expensive and I’m doubting myself. What if I’m not ready to take on another job, even if it’s part-time? What if I get extremely anxious again and back out? But I’ll be going back to the mall again tomorrow, so I might actually buy the tech.

I’ve also been meaning to volunteer online as a proofreader in Project Gutenberg. They’re a digital library and they offer online volunteer services for those who wish to digitize old texts. I may apply as a proofreader to pass the time and reorient myself with the rigidity of tasks I have no doubt I will experience once I’m back at the workforce. Think of it as practice, I suppose.

That’s really it for today. Not much has happened, but I suppose I should view that as a good thing. A friend of mine once told me that if you have a boring life, you have a blessed life. Not sure how much of that is true, but I’ll be holding on to that for sure.

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